It is Mother's Birthday

... and I am having a terribly difficult time finding a stupid e-card to send to her.

I am really not feeling the "Happy birthday!" In fact, I do not even want to speak to her. My lame-ass online greeting card will be IT from me, and I can't even find a decent one to send.

There are a lot of cute and funny ones online, but they do not "suit" her ... They are "too much," masyado maganda. Isn't that such a weird thing to say, a mean thing to say? But it is true.

It has been years now, but still, just the thought of her (and the thought of having to deal with her) makes me tired.

Ira asked me the other night, "Don't you miss her?" "I miss the idea of having a mother, but I don't miss her."

The (sad) truth is that she is not part of my life. And she hasn't been for a long time.

Now, I congratulate myself for giving myself that awesomely effective pep-talk! Didn't I just make looking for an e-card even harder?

Squash Presents: Volver

Last night, I finally was able to attend Squash Presents Night.  We watched Penelope Cruz (Volver) projected on a squash court wall.  And it was awesome.

We were with a few new people -- Gervacio from Argentina, Cesar and Liza of the Boat Club, and Nelson, a Cuban-American I danced some Eastcoast swing with.  

The Manila Boat Club is a pearl hidden in the thick of Pandacan, beside the muck of the Pasig River.  The building is charming -- bahay na bato / American -- and has not been renovated since it was built in 1832.  The socio-anthropologist in me was reawakened and I want to join in a restoration effort -- even if I've no money, really.  

Work has been weighing me down -- not because I've been swamped, but because I've been trying to find the meaning in what I do from day-to-day.  And it's complicated.

I needed a break.  And I need more breaks in between.

More coherent post later, maybe.  Distracted.

Oysters

Anthony Bourdain swears by them.  

His first taste of them oysters was in the South of France as a petulant, thrill-seeking, attention-craving child.  In Kitchen Confidential (and also in A Cook's Tour), he recalled this first with much passion, much gusto.  

My first taste of oyster was memorable, too.  

I must have been in first year high school.  My parents -- mother and stepfather -- were such fans of it that one night, they brought fresh ones home.  They tasted weird at first -- salty, slimy, but interesting.  So I knocked one back, and another, and another, and another.  

Post-dinner, I proceeded to watch a video I had rented out.  VHSes were still all the rage then and ACA video.  Promptly, I pushed in my Nirvana concert video (From the Muddy Banks of Wishkah) into the player and plunked myself on our living room floor pillow.  Headbang, headbang, headache.

Yeouch.  Probably the worst headache I had ever gotten in my life.  It felt like a huge mallet pounding, pounding, pounding in my head;  a mallet trying to find its way out from the inside of my temples.  I cried in sheer pain and frustration and bargained with the Lord.  "God, please stop this.  If you make it stop, I will never listen to Nirvana again!"  (Nirvana's music being the devil's music, of course.)

After some more pleading, I threw up my oysters into the toilet.  

After having realized it was the oysters and not Kurt Cobain that was responsible for my suffering the previous morning, I resumed watching my VHS.

Yes!!!

Father Speaks or Papa says the darnest things

Daughter1: "Sana may pawikan sa beach."

Papa: "They're gonna cook that?!"

Daughter1: "Nooooo!  We're gonna release it into the sea!"

Papa: "Yeah, I ate pawikan before.  And dolphin!"

Daughter2: "You ate dolphin?  Kinakain ba yun?!"

Papa: "Dolphin is meat."

Happy Jottings

The New Year is off to a good start. The return to work has been easy -- productive and at a good pace, starting out slow then picking up.

While things are not too crazy yet, one of our bosses suggested we have a get together. Lounge, cocktails. We all gussied up -- men and women! And even our friend L, whose get-up du jour was black shirts and jeans, gussied up! He looked soooo adorable and sharp at the same time!!!

All the girls were in dresses, and the boys in their dress shirts. It was awesome because everyone felt handsome as we sipped our mixed drinks in the glow of red and green lava lamps. :D

It was unfortunate that our boss, chief instigator of it all, could not join us because of a family emergency. But I'm hoping for a do over where he can actually join.

This is what I had been waiting for in all the places I've worked in -- chances for us all to just hang out, get to know each other, and be normal people. Chances for us to be friends. And NAA, I think, gets that. So am very glad.

While waiting for NAA, we played desert island -- the only game I could think of. And it was, luckily, a hit. With a little psychoanalysis twist. Hoho and I were the "hosts" and everyone would butt in with their own "readings" as well.

Am so glad.

+ + +

Rushed off to meet with my Beyotches' mums, too. And I felt loved and cared for by everyone. And beautiful, too, on top of all that. In my new evergreen dress, a loaned belt, and Steve Madden mary janes!

Mad about mary janes.

Hot About Food

Can I just say?  Kaiser buns are awesome!!!  An' they look a little sumfin like this.

Two weekends ago, I did my grocery in Landmark, Trinoma and found me a bag o' these.  I forgot the brand, but it's the same easily available bread brand that also sells bagels and tortillas.  They had black and white sesame on them buns.  And by golly, did they taste furkin' awesome!

They are perfect when toasted.  You get that nice brown color on the inside.   It's all warm and toasty.  Then you put on some butter.  Then it melts right on top.  And gets all glidy on the bun.  

Then, on the other side, I put a nice slice of cheddar cheese that gets all softy, too.  Then I bite into it.  

And it's like ... God, I am in loooooove, maaaan!

+ + +

And butter?  Can I just tell you about butter?  

Butter is awesome!

My butter of choice is Anchor butter, spreadable.  It comes in a tub.  And boy, the way it rolls on the butter knife ... then goes onto the bun as this little slab of butter.  Then it gets all melty and soaks the bun?

That sooooo rocks!

God.  I love food.  

It Was a Sad Day at the Office Yesterday

A good friend of mine upped and left yesterday.  Just like that.  He said he meant for me to be the first to know, but somehow, the news found me sooner than he did.  

For a minute there, I was taken aback.  But the next minute, I knew it was not only the best thing to do, but the right one, too.  And that he made as quick an exit as he did made me proud of him and even prouder to be his friend.

It was a difficult day, though.  Most of it was spent in a state of shock, intermingled with a force-myself-to-work attitude.  There was something about seeing his name in his mailbox without that green silhouette of a head/neck thingy on LotusNotes.  There was so much of him in my inbox.  But I knew, he was no longer there.  And as I walked past his section of his office, there was an empty space above the cubicle from which his hair used to peek.  

I had heard of his leaving via text first -- from my seatmate: "Is it true...?"  Then in whispers from the cubicles behind me.  That morning, I was just texting him to take care on his out-of-town office trip, only to find out that he ditched it and the whole job as well.

As I took in the news, my unwashed coffee press stared back at me, along with all the mess on my desk.  

+ + + 

It's amazing, the speed and ease at which we became friends.  Already, he is sorely missed.

+ + +

The first sign I had of his okness was at one lunch we had in the MainCon[ference room] together.  It was the first lunch he ever had with our group.  

In between spoonfuls, he asked us about ourselves, our lives.  Our courses in college.  The usual.  But "what was your thesis [paper] on in college?"  Not the usual question.  It was then, I knew.  Man, you are A-ok in my book.  

After a surprised and slightly embarrased chortle, I managed to answer, "Reggae in the Philippines -- how it's received and appropriated and stuff."  

He was the only one in the office who ever asked such a thing and right then and there, I had a good feeling about him.  A very good one.  

+ + +

And so there were more lunches to be had.  And then came coffee[s] to be drank.  And chats to be chatted.  

Quickly this became a habit.  Especially the coffee bits and chatting bits.  And I feel that, with the exception of I and K, he was only person in the office who asked "How are you?" and really cared.

+ + +

People of the same wavelength are difficult enough to come by.  Much more so, real friends and persons you can trust.  Much much much more so, this is the truth in the PR industry.  

So I guess that explains why it is hard not to take his departure hard.

+ + + 

Frenz

My friends
Gonna tell you about my friends: 
My friends ain't enough for one hand, 
My friends ain't enough for one hand, 
My friends don't amount to one hand, 
One hand. 

My friends don't add up to one hand, 
My friends don't amount to one hand, 
One hand. 
Tell ya 'bout my friends. (Why do you count them?) 

My friends don't count up to one hand, 
My friends cannot count on one hand. 
My friends don't amount to one hand. 

Tell ya 'bout my friends. 
My friends don't add up to one hand, 
My friends don't count up to hand. 
Tell ya 'bout my friends. 
My friends don't amount to one hand, 
My friends don't count up to one hand, 
One hand. 
Tell ya 'bout my friends. 


(Do you count them?) 

(How many are there?)